A Good Day!

I have had a really hard week! Its rough having someone to depend on all day and then having to do it all by myself all day. Yesterday and the day before were really good days! Thanks to my sisters and their wonderful advice I have figured a few things out!

With Makenna it feels like I am completely starting from scratch! I know that every child is different and I expected that. I did not expect to have everything I learned with Riley to be completely thrown out the window! This is a totally and completely different experience.

Riley was an extremely patient baby. She needed to be, she had to be strong for all the crap I was going through after I had her. It was rough on me and she was the perfect baby for all of that! She was patient and happy and content almost all of the time. Makenna, however, is not! She knows I am capable and she is pushing me to my limits. Always wanted to be held, entertained, or fed. I am sure there is a permanent butt imprint on the chair now. I am there all day!

The past couple days have been great and I almost have it figured out! I have figured out that she isn't too young to let her cry a little to put herself to bed and that the floor is good for her!

I HAVE MY SANITY BACK!

With Some great naps with me not holding her I have more opportunities to give Riley attention that she NEEDS from her mommy! Her behavior has improved quite a bit! We aren't all the way there but we are starting to figure it out!

There are more happy times in our house now! It is amazing how everything can change in a couple days!

It was really my fault, I realized, not Makennas. I was being clingy and not really wanting to put her down! I thought I wasn't ready to give it all up. I wasn't ready to do what I needed to do and I was putting off some of the blame on Mak but when it came to my sanity and Riley's attention I figured out that it was me with the problem! I needed it, Riley needed it and Dale needed it. He needed a happy wife to come home to, to talk to on his lunch break. Not a wife that had lost it all! I am not the only one that needed support in this strange transition!

I wont say that Mak isn't as strong willed as I thought, because BOY IS SHE EVER!!! She LOVES to be held and entertained ALL THE TIME! The thing is that both of us kind of need to find that there are other wonderful ways to get and give the affection that is needed other than constantly being held and cuddled! We still have some work to do in that area but we are working on it!

I am SOOOOOOO unbelievably grateful for the constant support Dale has given me the past three months but I think I depended on him way to much and became incapable when he left me! I needed to know I COULD do it by myself during the week. He continues to give me support but not the kind I was used to! On his hours off on the weekend he really does step up and help me out an unbelievable amount! I could not survive without him!