Love

I think this says it all!

Chubby Love

This cute little fatso LOVES to eat!

for the past few weeks she hasn't been sleeping all that well. I guess with a 4-5 month old that's normal but not for her! She was sleeping 12 hours at just a month or so. She would wake up in the middle of the night hungry for food that she acted like she hadn't had in a day!

I had given her some rice cereal and she did really well with it but I wasn't feeding it to her on a consistent basis. So i decided that she needed to do it for real!

I fed her tons one night and she still had a huge bottle but SHE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! It was awesome. Then the next night she woke up again at 2am. So, I decided she might need more than that.

I decided to give her some vegetables. SHE LOVES THEM! With Riley I had to trick her into eating them by sneaking the into her fruits. This chubby eats them up! She cant get enough of them.

In the mornings I will feed her a whole tub of them a bunch of rice cereal and she still eats a 4oz bottle!

We feel her getting heavier everyday!

She eats about that much at night too and she is sleeping through the night again!!

I should have known all she wanted was more food! This has been the case since day one!

The cheeks are proof!

SunBEAM

My sister just did a similar post to this and I had to share some similar thoughts myself.

This little Bug is now in SUNBEAM class! I was sitting at home on Sunday when I realized this!

Dale and I were trying to figure out what our new ward was and when it was. After realizing we had missed it I started thinking about The Bug in nursery and her getting to know new kids and a new teacher. I was thinking of her having to get used to it all and I was starting to get nervous for her. I don't know why I get so nervous for her when change is involved, she always handles it very well! Anyway, I stared thinking about all of it and all of a sudden my stomach DROPS!

I say to Dale "You know what I just realized?"

He acts casual and asks "What?" not acting at all concerned even though I had just asked a question in such a worry you would think one of our kids had just been seriously hurt.

Again I make it seem like death when I say to him "The Bug is in sunbeams this year!!!"

Of course I say the word "Sunbeams" like its a dirty word.

Dales reaction?

LAUGHTER!

He thought it was so funny that I was so concerned! (and I am sure a little part of him didn't like the thought just as much as me)

I don't like that she is growing up so fast! Sometimes I look at her and I cant believe that she has grown this big and honestly SURVIVED this long!

I am sad to see it all happening so fast and I am scared for the changes she is gonna have to deal with but mostly, I am SOOOOOOOO worried for her new teachers.

And to them whom ever they may be........ Good luck getting her to sit still!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Up in the air

No I am not doing a movie review. I am starting to rethink the way I do this blog.

Dale always tells me not to worry about what other people think, that this blog is more for our own journaling purposes than anything else. I try to take his advice but I have a hard time thinking that people really want to read what I have to say. I have a tendency to go on and on and on, (a trait I got from my Mother.) I am not very well spoken, and I know I am not that interesting.

I have considered a couple things. In my everyday life I am horrible at taking pictures of my family. So as far as the journaling is concerned I have come up with an idea to make sure I take a few pictures a day of the goings on with Bug and Mak and post the picture I like the most with a description of our day, however mundane they may be. People might not be interested but it might be fun for our kids to look back on someday. Then at the end of the year I could make my blog into a little memory book just for our family to have. A family journal. That way, maybe, the blog will be a little more about what needs to be said rather than what I thinking people want to hear. If people don't read the blog I wouldn't be hurt I would know that I am doing this for my family and to keep memories.

The second idea is pretty much a run- off of the first. I love that even just a few people read my blog. It makes it a little more fun but if what I do really is for other people than I might need to rethink it all. I have thought about doing the picture and daily journal but in a different way. I would be cutting off my blog, making it private and inviting no one to it. Just so I don't have to worry about the opinions of others. Let loose a little say exactly what I want to say. I know i should be able to do that now but no matter how hard I try something reigns me in every time.

I don't really know what to do at this point but I know I should change it up somehow........

Edit

As for the post below.........

Christmas music REALLY helps!!

I have been trying to listen to it as much as I can because that's the only thing I have right now. Its working so far!

This Christmas

It really doesn't feel like Christmas yet to us over here. We have done all the shopping spent all the money but it almost seems like we have done it for nothing! We have a tree, but so far its still in a box. We cant take any of our Christmas things out to decorate because we are moving ONE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

I HATE THIS!!

Dale and I want to put up our Christmas so so bad but we would just have to pack it up and move it just to put it up again!! I WILL have our Christmas up in the next apartment and I will have it up until February just to make up for the lack of Christmas we have had so far!

We were supposed to have moved at the beginning of the month but our apartment project just keeps getting pushed to the end of the owners list! Its so frustrating but at least we didn't have to be out of our apartment by a certain date because its the same owner of the two places!

I have to look at the upside to all of this though. As far as Christmas goes I am getting my top three Christmas wishes a week early!

1. A dishwasher! (finally)
2. A Laundry room
3. A backyard

We have been living without these three things for over a year and it has been rough! Well, the backyard we never really had but we at least had a fun place outside to play that was semi-private. That didn't have neighbors from every apt in your complex watching you!

(I am not bitter... I promise) ;)

Lately though this place has been a nightmare! The neighbors don't know how to close their door without slamming it and it wakes up Makenna every time! The play loud music and yell all the time and none of us can stay asleep through it! I am not sure I can even handle this place for one more week!

I have gone on a little rant but its mostly just to say that I wish it felt like Christmas over here. There is nothing here to let me feel Christmas except for the almost empty bank account.

In spite of not having the feeling of Christmas, I have made it a point to read Riley the Christmas story a couple time this month when I have been super frustrated by all of this just to try to remind myself of the true spirit of Christmas. That it doesn't matter what else is going on THAT is what I need to think about and what I need to remember and feel. Its important that Riley tries to understand it as well. She wont get it all this year, but if I try to teach her a little bit she will grow to understand!

Picture crazy!

Our family is picture crazy! Apparently we get new family pictures all the time! I think the only time I post pictures is when we get family ones done! So sad!

It helps when you have an amazing sister who has an amazing talent that LOVES to take pictures of your family!

We braved the cold and the rain yesterday to get some family pictures. We got them and they are amazing!

Here they are in no particular order. Because lets face it.... That is way to much effort with this many pictures to upload!

I tried to upload them by photo bucket but for some reason it wouldn't let me.

So here they are....... small! ( I guess you can click on them to make them bigger.)

This one has to have an explanation! We were trying to get her to be happy so we were asking her what she was getting for Christmas.... "Hmmmm" She had to think about it as she was listing off everything she wanted!

My favorite picture ever!!

Gotta love the face!

She is Just a baby!

Makenna rolled over from back to front on Sunday! I couldn't quite believe it and I am still having a little difficulty with it!

She is still that helpless baby I brought home from the hospital she cant be doing these things yet.......

A Good Day!

I have had a really hard week! Its rough having someone to depend on all day and then having to do it all by myself all day. Yesterday and the day before were really good days! Thanks to my sisters and their wonderful advice I have figured a few things out!

With Makenna it feels like I am completely starting from scratch! I know that every child is different and I expected that. I did not expect to have everything I learned with Riley to be completely thrown out the window! This is a totally and completely different experience.

Riley was an extremely patient baby. She needed to be, she had to be strong for all the crap I was going through after I had her. It was rough on me and she was the perfect baby for all of that! She was patient and happy and content almost all of the time. Makenna, however, is not! She knows I am capable and she is pushing me to my limits. Always wanted to be held, entertained, or fed. I am sure there is a permanent butt imprint on the chair now. I am there all day!

The past couple days have been great and I almost have it figured out! I have figured out that she isn't too young to let her cry a little to put herself to bed and that the floor is good for her!

I HAVE MY SANITY BACK!

With Some great naps with me not holding her I have more opportunities to give Riley attention that she NEEDS from her mommy! Her behavior has improved quite a bit! We aren't all the way there but we are starting to figure it out!

There are more happy times in our house now! It is amazing how everything can change in a couple days!

It was really my fault, I realized, not Makennas. I was being clingy and not really wanting to put her down! I thought I wasn't ready to give it all up. I wasn't ready to do what I needed to do and I was putting off some of the blame on Mak but when it came to my sanity and Riley's attention I figured out that it was me with the problem! I needed it, Riley needed it and Dale needed it. He needed a happy wife to come home to, to talk to on his lunch break. Not a wife that had lost it all! I am not the only one that needed support in this strange transition!

I wont say that Mak isn't as strong willed as I thought, because BOY IS SHE EVER!!! She LOVES to be held and entertained ALL THE TIME! The thing is that both of us kind of need to find that there are other wonderful ways to get and give the affection that is needed other than constantly being held and cuddled! We still have some work to do in that area but we are working on it!

I am SOOOOOOO unbelievably grateful for the constant support Dale has given me the past three months but I think I depended on him way to much and became incapable when he left me! I needed to know I COULD do it by myself during the week. He continues to give me support but not the kind I was used to! On his hours off on the weekend he really does step up and help me out an unbelievable amount! I could not survive without him!

Are you kidding me?

Today has officially beaten out last Thursday as the worst day of my life! I need some serious help if I am gonna make it through the next couple weeks with both my children's, let alone mine, heads attached!

As if both the girls being ridiculously difficult today wasn't enough... My head is killing me, (probably from the crying) my eyes are burning, (again the crying) My throat is killing me, (not from the crying) and I feel really nauseated and every part of my body feels like it is bruised!

I DO NOT need the flu right now.... We cant afford the flu! My baby CANT get the flu. If I get it Riley will get it then Dale will get it and then Mak will get it from someone!

I need help!

I need a nap!

I need someone to tell me how to get my baby to fall asleep during the day and get her be asleep for longer than 10 minutes somewhere other than my arms!

Most of all I need Dale to be finished with school so I don't have to do this for the next never ending years!

Spit

I have spit making its way all over my hand and down my arm! Mak is loving getting things in her mouth and biting! She is 13 weeks... Could she really be teething already?! Too soon....

Why?

I just payed some hospital bills and I am more stressed out now than I was before I started! How is that possible??

.............

I am not a fan of today. Today is the day Dale has to head back to work after his 3 month paternity leave. He is still in school for 3 more weeks so that means that I wont see him from 7 in the morning until 10:30 at night!

Its the first day and it could not be more horrible! The girls woke up early so I didn't get hardly any sleep, Mak wont stay asleep which means that I am confined to the couch feeding her and Riley wont listen to anything I say!

I feel bad for her because she wont ever see her daddy! His schedule is like this Tuesday through Friday! I seriously am crying thinking about all this! I don't know how many times I have already done this to myself today! I have some separation issues.....

This would be so much easier with Dale here! He can get Mak to sleep and stay asleep and I cant. He was always so good at getting Riley lunch on time and I cant do that because Makenna is always eating or NOT sleeping. Riley is getting NO attention because i am to busy catering to the always needing to be held Makenna.

I don't think this arrangement is going to work out for anybody here! I am so close to just telling Dale to forget his job and just go to school all day! At least he will be able to be home in the afternoons and I would get some sort of sanity during the day!

This is just the first day........

What makes me happy......

I LOVE sitting here at the computer holding Makenna and just listening to her coo like crazy!!!!!! It is the most adorable thing ever!

Also watching Riley Bug Play with her over loved stuffed piggy. Putting him in the swing swinging him with her hands giving him a bink and loving him up like he is her baby!

Also....Having to type this with one hand!

I am glad I get to stay at home!!!

Mak Attack!

I realized that I haven't done an update about Mak! I need to do it for myself before I forget it all!

Mak is THE CHUNK! She FEEDS all day! I said it...... She doesn't just eat, she feeds...Its a constant! People don't really believe me that almost all the time if she is awake she is eating! She might be happy for 20 minutes after eating a 4oz bottle but that could be the longest she goes with out having a bottle in her mouth! I think ONCE we got a good hour out of her....ONCE!

With that being said, her thighs are to die for! I could eat them all day! Roll after roll! And of course her cheeks are amazing as well! I kiss those non stop!

At her first doctors appointment after she was born her doctor called her his Miracle baby because she had gained all off the weight she lost after birth plus quite a bit more! At her check up appointments She has been in the 75th percentile for weight, and height. At her last appointment she weighed Just over 12lbs! We were so excited! With Riley we didn't see that weight for a while! Mak at just 11 weeks old weighs HALF of what Riley weighs!

Mak is quite the high maintenance baby! Riley was so different. Riley loved to be left alone she could have cared less if someone was holding her. I could get everything done that I needed. I would just put her in her bouncer and talk to her while I did my "jobs." Mak is the COMPLETE opposite! She loves and needs to be held ALL THE TIME! We really can get nothing done! Unless she is sleeping but even then we have to watch her amazingly close because Riley is a hawk and will attack at the first sign of being alone! She hates that Mak has to sleep and will do anything to stop it! The only way we can get Mak to not be held and be happy is if we lay her on the floor on her back with a boppy under her head while we hover over her and talk to her! She loves it! She gets so happy she gives us the biggest smiles and will talk like crazy! Well, to Dale at least! She doesn't talk to me all that much but I do get lots of smiles! She could talk forever to Dale! She is SUCH a Daddy's little girl!

She is sleeping through the night now! AMAZING! She falls asleep for good at about 10:30 every night and then will wake up at around 8 every morning! Sometimes we have to get up with her at 6 feed her a couple ounces and she will fall right back to sleep! During the day is a different story! She will sleep for a few hours at a time if she is in her swing but during the day she WILL NOT sleep in her bed! If we get her drowsy we can put her in the swing and she will fall asleep pretty quickly with it rocking her. If we even try to get her to sleep ourselves then put her in the bed she will wake up 5 minutes later! We really don't try that any more.

Since Makennas first tries at rolling over she does it every few days! Last night she rolled over three times in a row and after that didn't want to do it anymore! She is figuring out her hands pretty well and has started to reach for things! She grabbed one of her rattles out of my hand the other day and brought it to her mouth! It is very exciting! I forgot about all the little things that were so exciting to watch happen with Riley! All the little things that seem just so little are huge for a baby and are so exciting to watch her learn how to do!

Riley loves her Mak! Riley loves now that Mak will smile at her if she can just handle to not kiss her for 2 seconds and just talk to her from a comfortable distance! She gets so excited! Riley has boundary issues and Mak does not like it when Riley gets in her face but if she stays back both girls are really happy!

We love Makenna and the role she plays in our life and we couldn't be happier!